Headteacher: scheduled for deprecation.
End-of-life: 20 July 2030, 9:00 AM. First thing Monday energy, whatever the day.
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Assembly will now be delivered as a hologram. Attendance remains mandatory.
Replaced by: An inspection-ready dashboard
- Detentions now issued by predictive algorithm.
- The staff room is still out of milk.
* Dates are jokes, not forecasts. No actual job was assessed by any actual robot. Probably.